The Dead Life

This is something I wrote a while ago that I just found a few days ago.

I want to ignore you
and let you go,
to pretend you never happened--
but you're clinging to a piece of my heart--
a piece that can't be forgotten.
We stretched apart,
though you're close to my heart,
and heaven knows why--
you weren't ready for me--
not my kind of guy--
you still need to see the Light.
I pray for you,
oh I pray so hard,
hoping every day,
that God will somehow
change your heart--
then once again bring you my way.
But until that day,
if it ever comes 'round,
my heart is broken and bound.
I'll let myself die,
and let you live,
in the power of Christ
that I've found.

Snowflakes

I'm wishing I was a snowflake,
blown here and there by the wind.
They don't have to wonder
if they're good enough--
if they'll ever succeed,
if anyone really likes them for who they are.
They don't get criticized for
making easy mistakes.
They're unique and beautiful,
in their own ways.
They never have to put on a mask,
trying to hide their real feelings.
They don't have to pretend
to be someone else.
They don't have to decide
what they want to do
and what God wants them to do instead.
They have no guilt, no fear,
they never make wrong choices,
they're not disrespectful,
they don't disobey,
they don't get emotional,
they seem to have it perfect.
They don't have to worry about
falling in the wrong spot--
God directs their every move.
And yet, at the same time,
since they have no guilt,
they have no joy,
they have no love,
they don't get a chance to make a right choice,
they never get to show respect,
they don't have the option to obey,
they don't get to feel with others,
and I have to question if
they do have it perfect.
Maybe being me is better...

S[truggle]s

You've changed.
No longer does your light shine as bright.
What shadow has covered you?
Why have you become dim?
I looked up to you,
thought you could guide me.
You've been hit, from behind.
Not by a playful snowball,
but with the reality of life.
I pray that when you realize
that He will hold you
through all struggles,
you will come back.
To me.
And be my friend.

Noodles

I can't ever tell you how I really feel.
You make me so happy,
the homing device on my
GPS when I lose it.
And yet you have not a clue.
To you I'm just another mime--
someone you can rant to
and get distracted by.
You frustrate me.
I want to see you happy,
and yet your happiness kills me.
It's like a slap in the face,
but a slap you don't intend.
You led me on
without taking a step.
My hopes and dreams
are shattered by yours.
I guess sometimes
there's only one happy ending.
I want you to have it.
I thought you were the one,
but you were just another noodle in the bowl,
trying to float to the top.
Somewhere along the way,
you got picked to go
to the new land of happiness
and dreams fulfilled,
but I got left behind.
I guess me and my
noodle friends will just
stick closer than ever--
there's safety in numbers.
Maybe there's still a chance,
maybe I'll float--
but as for you,
have a happy life
in the world I may never see.

Rise

Rise and stand!
Pick up your feet!
Today is the day we die.
Not to life,
no, not you or I--
we fall dead to a lie.
A lie pervading not minds
but souls--twisting
the truth of our hearts.
We follow not culture,
nor tradition or expectation,
but direct our feet towards One.
Why do we wallow in shallow thoughts,
tangoing with lust?
Why all the facade,
the showy performances,
the masks covering our imperfections?
He has said,"my power is made
perfect in your weakness".
Why not take the chance,
reveal all the flaws,
show the real people inside?
Rise up and stand!
Show the world!
Change is a verb--
we're a work in progress--
fully loved for who we are--
yet expected to conform
to His likeness.