Night

As I gaze into
the cloudy blue sky
the stars twinkling through,
the moon shining bright,
I begin to feel
the romance of the night.
All the doubts from my day,
every unshed tear,
the pain and confusion,
remorse and regret
are waltzed away
as I look deeply into
your fathomless eyes.
As they shimmer
with your delight,
I catch glimpses of hope,
I see love, faithfulness,
trust and perfect peace.
You wash away the
darkest parts of the night
with your light
and use it
to soothe my fears.

Gated

I never knew
that there could be someone
who would make me
want to be pure,
to be innocent, naive.
That could make me
worry every second of the day,
wondering if their feelings
might change,
because I know
the agony if they left
would be indescribable.
I never knew that I
could feel a love,
unexpressed,
so that the first mention,
would be of true love's wakening.
I don't want to feel this way
So helpless, vulnerable.
I don't want to take the chance.
But I can't fully live,
unless I open the door
to my heart.
God give me the wisdom
to open my gate
only to the right one.

Give me strength

I don't want
to let go.
I don't want
to feel alone.
Not again.
You say you'll
never leave.
My heart struggles
to believe,
to grasp,
that tiny shred
of hope.
I don't want
to move on.
To pretend
I never felt
something beyond
the norm
for a mist
like you.
I don't want
to give up,
to lose
my hope
that this
is it.
That it's
finished.
Give me
Strength.

Opposite

In a world of dandelions
I'm the seed floating by,
never fitting in.
Always accepted,
never rejected,
but the wind keeps me tumbling on.
In a world full of voices
I feel like falsetto,
ethereal yet visibly present.
I make songs shine,
but never can claim a melody of my own.
If the world was full of red marbles
I'd be the blue one.
If everyone else was swimming in the sea
I'd be flying with the birds.
Every day feels like opposite day to me.

Longing

As the day draws to a close,
an indescribable longing echoes through my soul.
Is it of heaven?
Or mere earth below?

Desire, for something,
made not in this world.
Restless, discontent, insecure,
I scour the skies for answers.

Is this unrealistic?
Where did my peace run to?
I felt safe, warm, sun-shine filled,
but now those moments seem like mere memories.

Cardboard box

Trapped in this cardboard box of distress,

my walls crashing down.
So much noise surrounds me.
I strain through the voices;
longing, hoping, waiting
to hear yours.

Will you show up tonight?
Will you stay with me--
just stay with me until
the darkness fades--
I'm so afraid when there's no light--
So deceived by the glazed-over
reflections of black-lights.
Sometimes I think I hear you,
but soon my doubts
retake control of my mind.

I live the life of a mime--
no one sees how I feel.
They pass me by like
an unknown artist's painting--
nothing out of the ordinary.
I wait for one who will call me
out of this land of the dead.

I long to be priceless--
Irreplaceable by another clay vessel.
Not just a Monet or Da Vinci,
but truly unique--
A masterpiece alive in its own--
unfinished, ever-changing, but
marked with a plan
whose lines end in perfection.

Speechless

Speechless--
but not from awe.
Paralyzed within--
I feel like a quadriplegic
when it comes to prayer.
Stuck in my throat--
a huge clog--
I can't seem to spew it out.
I don't understand--
I can feel you--
the words just won't come.
I'm a marble statue--
frozen in the grave--
my emotions still--
my lips set in stone.
My heart knows the
letters--
sees them forming into words--
but no cry is uttered.
Can you hear me?
Why is there this wall?
Who built it?
I can't see you!
I can't hear!
I can't feel!
I long to turn the pages--
read your love notes,
but my mind is a steel trap--
commandeering my hands--
making them completely useless.
I fall into empty sleep,
gaining no wisdom,
stuck in the same relentless cycle.
My soul longs for you--
I feel so dry,
so empty,
so confused
and worthless.
I know what I need to do,
but I don't have the strength--
the power to lift a finger--
I can't make a motion.
I'm frozen,
Paralyzed.
Speechless.